Meditation is something that gets mentioned a lot to me as a psychotherapist. Mostly in terms of how a person has tried to meditate but can't. Or that they meditate in the morning but still feel stressed and so it isnt 'working.'
To me, what IS meditation is actually not fully understood. Typically we think of the person crosslegged on the floor, eyes closed, incense burning, chanting a mantra etc. Yes, that is certainly a WAY to meditate but it isnt exactly WHAT meditation is or the only way to get in that state.
You see a brain scientist views Meditation as a 'state' that 'state' is then measurable and observable for a scientist. They use MRI machine, ECG machine etc. to measure and observe what happens to a persons brain when in a meditative state. Below I have included some links about this if you are interested in learning more about this fascinating subject.
You have heard of Mindfulness? It is a very popular concept these days. I completed a course in Mindfulness with Leiden University in conjunction with Oxford University and found what I learned to be very revealing and helpful as a therapist.
Point to remember! 'Just because you THINK IT, Doesn't make it TRUE.' Your thoughts are not facts. Central to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is this point.
We all do it but that doesn't make it ok. For some of us what we are thinking is really off centre. Genuinely not even near what is factually true. You know this, some people are way off! Thing is, you are sometimes too!
People can have very slanted and biased views on all sorts of things, anything in fact, and will believe it fully just because they thought it to be true.
We are all capable of this. To make up our minds about someone or something just because WE THOUGHT IT TO BE TRUE. Not an ounce of fact or research gained.
We react, we upset ourselves, we worry and all perhaps for something that we framed in our minds to be a certain way.
WE framed it that way.
1. Our 'filter' perceived the event or the person or the place etc..
2. We told ourselves a 'story' attached to it
3. We believed it.
4. We react...
This happens in micro split seconds in our thought processes. Emotions are very much part of this. Intertwined is emotion.
If you want to have a healthy mind the information in this article really is key.
In Psychology we call it 'cognitive bias' which is that slanted way of thinking. Typically it is a negative bias that is in fact causing the person issue. Thing is, you may not see it as a bias, you may think its FULLY TRUE. After all, its your bias and its your mind so you are believing what you are telling yourself!
Working with me or any therapist can feel challenging because of this. It is hard to question yourself and to let go of attitudes you have held on to. Thoughts and ways of speaking that were habits. Habits of thinking and speaking that you were not even fully aware were not helping you in life. Until your therapy work sheds light on them.
What someone like me does with a person is to use techniques such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to help a person begin to realise those biases, those slants in their thinking. How those biases in their self talk are not helpful, WHY they are not helpful.
What you can do in terms of self help is to begin to question yourself sometimes with what you are saying to yourself. Ask yourself, do you know for a fact what it is you are telling yourself is actually true? Pay attention to your self talk.
This really is key to good mental health. In fact its key to healthy communities and relationships. We would all be a lot nicer to ourselves and others if we took a moment before we made our mind up about someone or something.
If your thinking is not healthy, if you know you are having angry or resentful thoughts and worry a lot. Perhaps you find yourself not able to relate in your relationship? If you relate to any of this then therapy genuinely can help you. Probably help you a lot quicker than you realise and with such positive unburdening effects you can barely imagine just now.
I offer online therapy using Skype or Whatsapp calling or we can use Facebook messenger calling. My office locations are in Marbella and Riviera del Sol. Here is a link to my website for all information about me and working with me so as to help you. www.claritytherapy.es
Let me be honest with you, anxiety is hard to deal with. It is a very uncomfortable feeling and it can really affect your life and relationships. If you have anxiety or you get anxiety 'attacks' then you already know that!
It is hard to explain to people who dont get anxiety what it actually feels like. That in itself can be frustrating and a problem all on its own. Not only do you find it difficult to make sense of yourself but others around you dont really understand it either. It is an isolating experience in that way.
This week two Facebook friends of mine lost 'things' of great value, specifically their gold wedding ring and their dog. In the 'real world community' I heard my aunt lost her purse.
The reaction on Facebook was immediate with people sharing the 'lost item' post. People giving words of support and encouragement and offering to help. Here is the good news, the ring, the dog and the wallet were all handed in and returned to their relieved owners.
Altruism is the word that means to do nice things for other people. Studies show that altruistic acts are inherent in us humans, we have inherent caring for one another.
Faced with AGGRESSION? Mentally strong people take a moment to calm and centre themselves when faced with aggression from others.
If you did not choose this situation why would you respond to it in kind? Why seek to match the aggression if it is in truth not what you want?
If you want nothing to do with this aggressive behaviour then act like you don't. Behave true to yourself. Rather than letting the other person's mood and emotional imbalance dictate how you behave, you get to choose. This is not you being passive aggressive nor you being bullied. This is you keeping your calm in a genuine way.
Many times we do react first and think later. We often upset ourselves by getting involved in another persons bad behaviour without first considering if we even want to become involved. It is easy to 'find yourself' suddenly in a negative interaction not of your own making.
The link below is to a Psychologists Positive Traits test. It is easy to complete and takes about 20 minutes. You may find the results interesting? It is a test showing your character strengths. A real Psychology test not 'pop psychology.'
In working with my clients I will on occasion use tests such as this. It gives us a good place to start and an interesting insight.
Why is this important or interesting? Well, when presenting yourself to a Psychologist for whatever reason, the Psychologist then has choices in how to view you personally, how to view your issue as you report it to be and how to help you. A Psychologists view can and will vary according to their professional approach. Psychologists and Psychotherapists approaches can vary a lot!
If you know someone with Anxiety or you have it please read this. It is important to know that anxiety is not something that is just in your head. It is not simply thought related.
Thoughts are part of it or can be but they are not the whole picture. I want to communicate in this information piece that you can get a blood test and find out what is causing your anxiety. You can do that. That is possible.
Your anxiety can be treated more simply than probably you realise. Than perhaps your Doctor or Therapist realises. Read this and let me explain as this information can save a lot of misery