Just because you think it doesnt make it TRUE
Typically we act and react based on our perception of a situation. Yet we will do this with little or no evidence for that perception being correct.
For example: A person leaves a party early and arrives late. The host can perceive that party guest to be rude or not interested in the party. The guest didnt give a good reason for their behaviour and the host considers their behaviour to be ignorant or insulting.
This relationship has now changed negatively. The host can then be a bit distant with this guest in the future as they felt personally insulted by how the guest behaved at that party.
What the party host doesnt know, is the medical issue this guest has or the relationship worry that has caused this behaviour. Perhaps they left the party early due to an embarassing personal problem?
This is an example as to how our interpretation, our perception of an event dictates our reaction and in turn affects our lives and relationships.
This host didnt fact check or make any allowance for a personal issue the party guest was having as to why the person behaved like this. The party host perceived rudeness and felt insulted and reacted with only that information.
Variations of this happen on a constant basis throughout the day with all of us.
To realise why you are feeling or thinking like you are and to isolate the emotions behind it is life changing. What do emotions boil down to? Basically, its Love and Fear.
In our example of the guest at the party, the host wanted 'love' with the guests behaviour and attendance. Yet the party host did not get that from the guest, who arrived late and left early.
The reaction of the host was anger based which is 'fear' in another form.
If the host had been more loving and made allowances for private issues the guest may have been having to explain their behaviour then the host would not have felt insulted.
Therefore avoiding the damaged relationship that now exists in this scenario.
You can do a lot of this through your own efforts. A professional such as myself as a Psychologist could possibly get you there faster.
However, I can assure you that you can progress a lot by even beginning to choose to become self-aware of your internal dialogue.