Let me be honest with you, anxiety is hard to deal with. It is a very uncomfortable feeling and it can really affect your life and relationships. If you have anxiety or you get anxiety 'attacks' then you already know that!
It is hard to explain to people who dont get anxiety what it actually feels like. That in itself can be frustrating and a problem all on its own. Not only do you find it difficult to make sense of yourself but others around you dont really understand it either. It is an isolating experience in that way.
This week two Facebook friends of mine lost 'things' of great value, specifically their gold wedding ring and their dog. In the 'real world community' I heard my aunt lost her purse.
The reaction on Facebook was immediate with people sharing the 'lost item' post. People giving words of support and encouragement and offering to help. Here is the good news, the ring, the dog and the wallet were all handed in and returned to their relieved owners.
Altruism is the word that means to do nice things for other people. Studies show that altruistic acts are inherent in us humans, we have inherent caring for one another.
Faced with aggression? This is a difficult thing to handle. Naturally, our response is 'fight or flight.' When faced with agression we are naturally designed, due to our hormonal reactions, to immediatly react. Typically we will either freeze in shock or lash out at the aggressive person. This is the 'fight or flight response in action.
Our natural reaction is to have a personal and emotional response. To be hurt, insulted, shocked or angry. So how to handle aggression from others in a balanced way when our natural reaction is otherwise?
It is possible and advisable to take a moment to calm and centre yourself when faced with aggression from others. Keep your composure.
Fighting fire with fire is not going to calm the aggressive person. Think a moment before you say something you may later regret or will just add negatively to the situation.
You can actually calm the other person down or make them realise they are getting out of control simply by how you react to them.
This is something that people can be trained to do as part of their profession. Paramedics and the Police for example are highly trained in dealing with aggressive people as they deal with hurt, angry & intoxicated people as part of their job.
In some aggressive situations we have an opportunity to walk away or tell the person we will get back to them later. We can assure them that we have heard their grievance and give them a time frame as to when they can expect to hear back from us.
If the aggressive person simply wants to vent, and has no intentions of being reasonable, then you are in a bullying and harassment situation. Do not allow yourself to be intimidated by handling the situation as calmly as you can.
If the aggressive person has begun to be insulting to you personally then this is a situation that is already out of control. Personal insults are never ok.
It may be possible for you to say to this insulting aggressive person, 'I know you are frustrated and can see it, we will have to end this conversation if you continue to speak to me in this way, I am listening to you.'
Then, if the person continues, you have warned them and can back away from this situation, having kept your composure and dignity.
The other person is then in the position to have to realise that they allowed the situation to get out of hand with how they reacted and spoke to you. Therefore owing you an apology.
Of course, if you are in fact dealing with a bully or manipulator, any apology if ever there is one, would be for them to gain an advantage.
'Fighting fire with fire is not going to calm the aggressive person.'
The link below is to a Psychologists Positive Traits test. It is easy to complete and takes about 20 minutes. You may find the results interesting? It is a test showing your character strengths. A real Psychology test not 'pop psychology.'
In working with my clients I will on occasion use tests such as this. It gives us a good place to start and an interesting insight.
Why is this important or interesting? Well, when presenting yourself to a Psychologist for whatever reason, the Psychologist then has choices in how to view you personally, how to view your issue as you report it to be and how to help you. A Psychologists view can and will vary according to their professional approach. Psychologists and Psychotherapists approaches can vary a lot!
If you know someone with Anxiety or you have it please read this. It is important to know that anxiety is not something that is just in your head. It is not simply thought related.
Thoughts are part of it or can be but they are not the whole picture. I want to communicate in this information piece that you can get a blood test and find out what is causing your anxiety. You can do that. That is possible.
Your anxiety can be treated more simply than probably you realise. Than perhaps your Doctor or Therapist realises. Read this and let me explain as this information can save a lot of misery